We at SensualMassageArt.com have been asked countless times about what goes on during a (meditative) sensual massage session - here's a detailed post which outlines the flow of a MSM session, our thought process, and why we do what we do!
It's written in an instructional manner, to share insight into what goes on in the giver's mind, and as basic starter material for those of you that might want to embark on exploring sensuality with another - feel free to try it out and give us feedback on what's described here!
Note: Meditation components whether active or passive are optional and may be weaved into this experience - this depends on individual preferences as well as prior experience with meditation.
1. Ambience - As with any sensual massage - ensure the room is conducive to relaxation - scent, lighting, music, ambient temperature etc. You may refer to earlier posts on 'An overview & quickstart' as well as 'Sensual massage resources' for more details.
2. Consultation / Aligning Expectations - Firstly, it's important for all parties involved to be in sync about the sensual massage itself - matching expectations (about what will occur and what might occur) as well as any boundaries to note between all individuals involved.
One way of doing this would be to use a standard consultation form as found on our contact page and to arrange for a short consultation before the session to ensure that expectations are both aligned.
3. Ebb and Flow - A sensual massage session has an 'ebb' and 'flow' to it. Meditation, Relaxation, Sexual tension will rise and fall during the session and should not be treated simply or linearly.
For example, sexual tension should not simply rise in a linear fashion but rise and fall as part of the session. This is the 'flow' we refer to and no two sessions are the same - the giver should read the 'flow' and react appropriately to achieve the desired results.
4. Process - We share a suggested order or progression for a (meditative) sensual massage here. Feel free to improvise and experiment - much of what can be done depends on the actual dynamic during the actual sensual massage itself (the 'flow') - so after a few rounds of practice, don't be afraid of deviating from the routines listed here.
In general, keep movements slow, smooth and measured - always avoid jittery, uncertain motions that will distract the person receiving the sensual massage.
Also, as a rule of thumb - if it's a muscle, it can be massaged, and, avoid massaging hard, bony areas. Soft tissue parts of the body require extra care - such as the stomach area - avoid too much pressure there.
For each of the movements described below, do repeat them as required - usually at least 3 to 5 times, but use your discretion based on feedback, how the person responds, or if you feel the specific part requires more attention (for example, if the muscles are knotted and tense).
If this is your first time giving sensual massage to the recipient, do check at various points if the pressure given is sufficient and that the recipient is feeling comfortable and relaxed. In general, we want to avoid painful massages - especially avoid sudden, unexpected pain (e.g. changing pressure too quickly).
Some people are ticklish and do not like light touch - use your palms, applying slightly firmer pressure over a wider surface area to reduce ticklish sensations. (Note that sometimes when turned on, ticklish sensations may be interpreted positively)
Lastly, it is implicit in the instructions below to apply oil for the massage, use as required - just enough to lubricate. Do avoid excessive use of oil which could leave an unpleasant oily feeling. Also, too much oil makes the skin on skin contact too slippery and the massage strokes tend to speed up slightly - which is what we want to avoid.
STEP 1 - Back / Neck / Shoulders:
First, we begin with a calming back massage, many people tend to have back/posture issues and the sensual massage helps to correct this, relieve tension, as well as relax the entire body. Straddle the person over their butt, but avoid putting too much weight / pressure on the recipient.
Do not skimp or shorten back massage segments as it helps to build comfort level and trust with the person receiving the sensual massage.
Start from the base of the back near the butt, move upwards alongside the spine with firm, even pressure. Push upwards all the way and move up the neck to the base of the head (there is a pressure point there). Once there, massage the nape of the neck to relax any tense muscles there.
Next we focus on the upper back and shoulders using an up and outwards motion, avoiding the shoulder blades. Move upwards from the lower back until past the shoulder blades, then outwards along the upper part of the shoulder. Feel for knotted muscles and once identified, spend more time on those areas, maintaining a slow, firm stroke over the tense muscles.
When returning your hands to the lower back, you may use light touch to return along the sides of the body, lightly brushing across the side of the breasts and waist. (Observe to see if this is ticklish and adjust accordingly).
After that, we focus on the upper back and shoulders using an up and outwards motion, avoiding the shoulder blades. Move upwards from the lower back until past the shoulder blades, then outwards along the upper part of the shoulder. Feel for knotted muscles and once identified, you may spend more time on those areas, maintaining a slow, firm stroke over the muscles. Use the same return stroke here.
You may also use a sideways stroke up the recipient's back, starting from the lower back. Move palms sideways, return to the center of the back and proceed slowly upwards.
Lastly, a more overall pressure can be given using the fleshy part of your forearm moving up the back and down one side of the neck. For the other side of the neck, your triceps can be used to massage the muscles there.
STEP 2 - Feet / Calves:
Note: Some recipients may prefer you to skip the feet altogether as they do not enjoy foot massages - in which case, you may skip onward to the part on lower legs / calves.
For the feet, massage the soles of each foot, concentrating on one foot at a time.
Do remember to check that you are giving appropriate pressure to the foot because preferences here vary widely amongst different people - what may be pleasurable for some may result in pain for others!
The suggested approach is to keep it simple. Use both hands to envelop each foot individually, and use your thumbs to apply pressure on the fleshy parts of the sole. You may also like to individually pull on each toe as well as flex / rotate the ankle as part of the foot massage.
Once both feet are done, move up the legs to the calves.
Apply oil on both the calves first, spreading the oil upwards both the legs with a light pressure. Once the oil is evenly distributed, you can focus on one leg at a time, massaging the calf muscles on both the inner and outer sides of the legs.
Again, do remember to check that you are giving appropriate pressure to the calves because preferences here also vary widely amongst different people - what may be pleasurable for some may result in pain for others!
Don't forget the shin muscles in front as well! You can massage them by using your four fingers applying upwards pressure as you grip and move long the leg.
Note: Keep this segment focused on parts below the knee, in preparation for escalating sexual tension in the following segment onwards, where the massage approaches one of the body's erogenous zones. We suggest this because a key component of meditative sensual massage is about enjoying simple physical touch without escalating too quickly. This is also a form of sensuality and the focus here is on feeling comfortable, building trust and understanding, mental relaxation and a connection.
STEP 3 - Hamstring / Back of Thighs / Outer Thighs:
This stage is where sexual tension is slowly built up. Firm pressure on the back of the legs / hamstring area can feel very pleasurable and sensual. Take the time to let sensations build and do not rush ahead to escalate too quickly.
First place both your hands, one on either leg near the base of the upper thigh - just above the kneecap. Apply firm pressure downwards toward the bed as you slowly slide forward in the direction of the butt. Do it slowly and intentionally, allowing the pressure to penetrate and diffuse to the surrounding regions around the back of the thigh.
This area of the body can take more pressure, so don't be afraid to use more force here. Focus on the hamstring areas, and take care to avoid the more sensitive region of the inner thigh. After several rounds of massaging the back of the thigh, we'll continue to move to the more sexually-charged inner thigh region.
STEP 4 - Inner Thigh:
The inner thighs are a very sensitive area of the body and as you massage there, take care to massage as well as tease the recipient.
Begin on one side of the thigh with both hands placed side-by-side near the knees. While doing a circular motion (A - in reference picture) with the left and right hands, slowly move up the thigh (B - in reference picture) as you use firm pressure to massage the inner thigh muscles.
This is one of the most pleasurable segments of the sensual massage, so take your time here!
Also, experiment with light teasing touches along the inner thighs as well as using your finger(s) or fingernails to trace lines slowly across the thighs. You may direct the recipient to focus on the points of contact as you explore this part of the body. Alternate between firm massage pressure and light touch as you see fit.
At this point, do stick to massage and teasing only - control your massage strokes to at most brush across sensitive private parts. We want to build up tension here but not release it yet - titillate and tease, and keep the desire building up! Early contact of the private parts will cut short the sensual play elements in the sensual massage - so avoid that and try to draw out and lengthen this process of exploration and play.
Lastly, do observe how the recipient reacts to the various types of touch and pressure. If very enjoyable, the body may involuntarily show signs of arousal. React accordingly and share those wonderful moments together!
STEP 5 - Body to body (B2B) (Optional):
We can end off the back sensual massage component with a very intimate, body to body massage.
Note: This component is optional because some recipients may not be comfortable with it (e.g. if first time) or may not enjoy it.
However in many cases, the feeling of closeness, skinship and firm pressure can be a huge turn-on.
Pressure-wise, some pressure can be comforting, however each person may have different preferences on the amount of pressure used.
Recipients who are used to restrictive play in BDSM or enjoy being dominated will sometimes enjoy very strong pressure, almost to the point of not being able to breathe freely. However, approach with caution if higher pressures are used.
An advanced movement for the B2B back component is to start with the palms on the ankles, moving upwards, massaging along the entire body, up the spine, until the shoulders. At that point, the chest starts to contact the person being massaged and transitions into the B2B component, where we apply bodyweight pressure to massage the back via contact of the chest and torso.
Take the time to enjoy a more full body skin contact and once you've reached a peak, give the recipient a hug, wipe excess oil off their back/body and ask the recipient to turn over for the next segment.
Note: There is one arousal peak here.
STEP 6 - Front Shoulders / Neck / Scalp (Turn over with eye covers):
At this point, the person is lying on their back. To help with comfort level and the modesty of the person being massaged, we cover the chest area with a towel.
Also, to help the recipient concentrate on their senses (other than sight), we cover the eyes with eye covers or bean bags. Blocking out sight helps to heighten the body's other senses and can be used subsequently in turning up the eroticism and arousal another step further.
In the meantime, however, take the opportunity at this point to let the arousal level drop slightly. This is done because the progression for the recipient's arousal level during a sensual massage should not be simply linear - rather, there should be a rise in arousal with mini-peaks followed by dips and raises.
Place your hands on the person's shoulders and press down at the sides to help do a pectoral stretch. From there, slide your palms, one on each side down the arms applying even pressure on them.
After doing this, move on to the underside of the back at the shoulder region. Lift from underneath and move your hands along the underside across the shoulder blades (A), from the outside regions towards the neck.
Next, massage the underside of the neck, lifting upwards (B) and at the end of your stroke, apply light traction to the head.
Finally, explore / massage the scalp as required (optional - as some may not like their hair/scalp to be touched)
STEP 7 - Arms / Hands (Optional):
After massaging the shoulders, neck and/or scalp, we can proceed to massage the arms. The arms are usually massaged on the left and right side individually, one after the other.
This component is optional - if you are going for a more full-body massage approach, doing the arms will help. But, the arousal level will drop and you will need to build up the sensual and arousal elements again after this segment!
Should you wish to massage the arms, move downwards and upwards along the arms, massaging the biceps, triceps and the forearms muscles.
After finishing the massage of the major muscle groups in the arms, you may also wish to massage the palms and hands of the recipient. While massaging the hands, pull on each fingertip individually to stretch the fingers and to promote blood circulation there.
STEP 8 - Neck / Ears:
The neck and ears are one of the key erogenous zones in the body. Take this time to explore more sensual stimulation of region to build arousal leading up into the following step.
Some ideas to explore - arousal and stimulation could be enhanced with breath, sounds, blowing of air, light use of the tongue to lick the ear / earlobes etc.
Do experiment with various sensations and observe the physical reactions of the person being massaged to identify what works. However also note that some recipients will find this area too ticklish or unpleasant so adjust your approach accordingly.
Note: There is one mini arousal peak here.
STEP 9 - Chest / Breasts / Stomach:
At this step, we proceed to the stomach and breasts which are major erogenous zones.
Quietly request permission to proceed as appropriate - a reminder here to check for consent when escalating. At this point, we focus on sensual and stimulative play - the towel is usually removed at this point and it is free play exploration as we race to an exhilarating finish. Feel free to make pit stops along the way, sometimes, prolonging this phase is desirable and very enjoyable!
Note: There is one arousal peak here.
STEP 10 - Front Thighs (Optional):
Press downwards on the front thighs to perform a massage on the quads - one of the largest muscle groups in the body - by mixing firm pressure with silky touches on the quads whilst making an approach toward the inner thighs.
This component is optional - by now if the recipient is sufficiently aroused, you may opt to skip this section and move on to the Yoni / G-Spot massage component.
STEP 11 - Yoni / G-Spot Massage:
In this step, it's time to proceed with the Yoni massage and other play. Yoni massage in itself is another full article altogether. Google the term for some articles, videos and guidance. We plan to do a more detailed post on this component in future!
You should explore g-spot orgasms and g-spot massages! For most women, they are extremely pleasurable - do note that if very intense g-spot stimulation is provided, squirting may occur. Ensure there are spare towels on hand, both below and over the vaginal area.
Some ideas to also explore further could be:
A) g-spot combined with clit stimulation for extremely intense blended orgasms with squirting, involuntary spasms, short periods of passing out, etc.
B) Vibrator and toy play for sensual stimulation, especially of the clitoral area.
In essence, though, continue sensual exploration and take the time to delight each other in every way possible :) Do not rush this segment. Leave time for the recipient to process the feelings involved in the yoni massage - they may be very pleasurable, intense, emotional etc.
Note: Your session should peak here!
Finally, allow the recipient to climax and, after such an intense experience, allow for cooldown in the following segment.
STEP 12 - Cooldown and Aftercare:
Aftercare may or may not be desired (some recipients prefer to be left alone) - however if you like to establish stronger communication and bonding, do take the time to cuddle and connect after the successful session.
Take the time to do post-session reflection, meditation, as well as bask in the warm feelings of a great session!
Remember to replenish fluids especially after a long session - a warm tea or warm drink would be nice.
5. Feedback, Conclusion & last words!
Lastly, remember to gather feedback, sharing openly about what worked and what could be improved - this is valuable input that *will* lead to better subsequent sessions!
Approached with the right mindset and attitudes, meditative sensual massage is a deeply fulfilling and rewarding experience for both parties involved.
Take your time to explore and experiment! This will reward everyone with hours and hours of amazing, experiences, health benefits, mental well-being benefits, beauty benefits and many, many positive memories.