Hi, Mike here!
In a recent article about Peak Experiences, I spoke about various types of sensorial and sensual exploration possible.
As a follow-up, I’ve penned down some personal notes about a framework you can use to design and plan your own lush, sensory experiences. These notes represent insights gathered over years of experimentation - I hope this gives you a peek into the thought behind our sessions and workshops, as well as further inspire you to use it for yourself!
A Sensualist's Toolkit
The “Sensualist's Toolkit” helps to make almost any experience intensely sensual. By viewing each session through the lenses listed below, we easily generate new ideas to experiment, explore and keep things fresh!
This toolkit consists of 8 lenses - firstly, our 5 basic human senses*, as well as 3 additional dimensions that I consider equally essential.
While this toolkit shines when applied in the context of two people (usually a giver and a receiver), it can be applicable to solo experiences that we craft for ourselves, as well as group experiences.
Sense of Touch - covers anything we perceive via our skin. Many of us underestimate the sensitivity, depth and breadth that this sense is capable of, covering: harder touch, soft touch, featherlight touch, temperature, texture, scratches, impact, and much, much more.
Sense of Sight - arguably our most dominant sense, we can explore this by restricting it, or engaging it and, also engaging it in different ways.
Sense of Hearing - one of the most potent senses for curating mood, the types of sound / music or lack thereof can also be used to great effect.
Sense of Smell - a subtler sense that can nonetheless also affect our mood, the range of scents and their effects can help to bring back memories, build associations and more.
Sense of Taste - a very intimate sense that we sometimes overlook in sensory exploration, incorporating this sense into the whole can add another dimension to our experiences.
Dimension of Mental State - covers mood and emotional states, these certainly act as a ‘filter’ by which we perceive and process our sensory input. Being in the right frame of mind is an absolutely critical component in having great sessions. Practicing mindfulness helps.
Dimension of Connection - we interact with one another as people and not inanimate objects, thus there is an energy exchange / connection that cannot be ignored. Get two different people to carry out the same actions, and the perception and outcomes from them are likely to be very different! We simply cannot dissociate our sensory exploration from the context of our connections. Even solo, we do have a connectional element - the relationship with ourself.
Dimension of Time / Pace - how long do we linger on something, how fast or slow do we want the sensory input to be perceived? Implicit in everything mentioned above is change, and change implies a duration and time. Great sensory experiences are generally not static but consist of a series of transitions between different forms of sensory input. These changes are what make our experiences feel fresh and come alive!
* There are potentially 2 other senses - our vestibular sense (sense of balance) as well as proprioception (body awareness) which are not mentioned above. For the purposes of this article we won’t cover these senses as they aren’t as essential in this context.
The simplest way to explain how these lenses can be used, is to show by example. So let's start with the reason this site (www.sensualmassageart.com) exists - massage!
*** Please note these key aspects of exploring in a responsible manner (in any context that isn’t a solo experience):
(a) open, non-judgmental communication,
(b) clear understanding of boundaries, consent and preferences, as well as
(c) clear understanding of individual risks and responsibilities.
Example - Application to Massage
Let’s see how the 8 lenses above can be applied to a massage, to turn the experience intensely sensual. Of course, not all lenses need to be explored or applied at one time, we can choose how to combine these elements, crafting a unique experience from the sum of its parts!
Touch - a traditional massage largely uses 1 to 2 types of touch, usually with heavier pressure.
Why not explore featherlight touch, kisses on skin, cuddles, hot and cool breaths, scratches, light smacks and more? Or… ropes and restraints?
Sight - a traditional massage uses dim lighting to help convey a sense of relaxation, but it usually ends there.
Why not experiment with various lighting options - fairy lights, light projectors, different background colours, as well as blindfolds (we can use the absence of a sense to intensify other senses) and mirrors (an interesting perspective, different from what we expect can keep things new)?
Hearing - a traditional massage uses calming music to help set the mood for relaxation.
Why not experiment with - different styles of music to set different moods (e.g. sultry or sassy), or perhaps the absence of a soundtrack to intensify ambient sounds of our breathing, or, even hearing each other's heartbeat?
Smell - a traditional massage tends to have a lightly pleasant smell that doesn’t vary.
Why not experiment with different smells - apply a variety of essential oils to change scents and moods within a session, or light a candle midway through to lend an almost imperceptible different background note as the session progresses.
Taste - a traditional massage doesn’t really engage our sense of taste.
Why not challenge ourselves with a mid-massage glass of wine? Or melt a slice of chocolate between two mouths for an unforgettable shared sensual taste experience, perhaps even while the massage continues.
Mental State - a traditional massage generally goes for a calm or peaceful state.
Why not experience different mental states such as - playful lightheartedness, desire and arousal or even dominance and submission? These different mental states can be assisted by changes to the background music, scents and the type of touch given - to name a few ways we could explore (there's more!).
Connection - a traditional massage has the barest minimum of connection between the giver and receiver.
However, with enough preparation and communication, a sensual massage could be a curated dance of connection, giving and receiving, accepting and being accepted. There is so much more that can be explored connectionally, simply because we are human and we relate to one another.
Time / Pace - a traditional massage tends to focus primarily on relaxation of our muscles and that's it. Because of that, movements are usually fast, trying to ‘pack in’ as much muscular relaxation without regard for our mental condition.
Why not consider the bigger picture of our connectional and mental states and slow down our movements, so that every action and sensation can be savoured?
Sometimes too, we are disappointed because we get the feeling that the masseur is watching the clock, and once time is up, everything comes to a stop, regardless of flow state. Experiment with pacing, and why not exercise flexibility by bringing sessions to a close when they flow to a close?
Conclusion - Go Explore!
As we can see, the use of these 8 lenses have turned a traditional massage into an intensely sensual massage experience, and, given us many, many new idea combinations we could explore.
I’ve found these lenses applicable to many types of activities - cooking / dining, soaking in a tub / showering, yes, even cuddling / sleeping!
If you've reached here, thank you for your time and interest! At this point, you've already got the essential theory down - next we have to begin to internalise it the best possible way - via personal experience and experimentation!
Cheers, Mike