Dear friends, it's been quite a while since our last post. Life has been eventful, and in a niche market where demand outstrips supply, it's been an uphill battle to continue writing and sharing. I have received some encouragement that my random musings are helpful, though, so I'll endeavour to keep writing for you!
In addition to this, something happened recently that helped to catalyse this post. Those who know me personally know that I am thankful for the support of regulars who become close friends over time. Usually, there is an ebb and flow, and sometimes, life circumstances no longer make it feasible to continue sessions, or sessions become unnecessary as original objectives are met / resolved.
When regulars no longer book sessions, the friendship continues - and as a means of closure, I encourage writing to close the chapter on beautiful experiences both lived and shared! This article serves as both a chapter closure as well as a reflection on 2025 and the insights that ensued from practising, teaching and coaching meditative sensual massage (MSM).
2025 has been an interesting year, and, continuing the theme from our last post, I've found that enquiries for sessions (and workshops) have, in essence, been a search for depth and meaning. In my pursuit of crafting sessions that best meet deep needs (many of them initially unspoken), I often try to understand WHY - the different reasons behind reaching out to connect.
Doing so, I can never forget a simple answer I received years ago: "I just want to feel alive again". Perhaps this is what we all subconsciously seek!
Many of us seek a direction, a purpose, a reason. 'Colour', that makes life interesting again. I call it life energy - the joy of being alive!
Sometimes, we manage to recharge and revitalise, but the feeling is transient and fades quickly over time. Turns out, this is something that we cannot stockpile or hoard all at once. Rather, it needs to be replenished and renewed regularly - hence retreats, holidays, and of course, sessions - a means of self-care that's essential for us to thrive. If we are not able to 'top-up', burnout often follows.
In my experiences, I've found that for some, this life energy is generated from within, and for others, renewal comes via external means. Usually, it's a mix of both, but as we grow and mature, the need for external support shrinks, and we find greater ability to recharge from within. When our need for life energy comes from external sources (for example, validation from a social group / our parents / spouse / a partner / friends), issues WILL arise when this source fails us or is taken away. This also includes MSM sessions!
Ideally, over time, we grow and transform ourselves over 3 stages:
1. Requiring renewal from external support (and/or validation)
2. Renewing oneself from within (internally energised)
3. Providing others with the energy and affirmation they need to transform themselves
Of course, stages 1 to 3 are a simplified progression; It never truly shifts entirely from 1 to 3, but the proportions adjust as we grow and mature, and, as we help others to grow and mature too!
MSM sessions can provide a form of external support (#1 above) while we transform and grow. Ironically, sometimes, the purpose of MSM is to reach a state where MSM is not required anymore! (P.S. While not needed, sometimes it can still be a treat)
Circling back to closure when sessions become unnecessary, a friend recently wrote (shared below with permission) a letter to her younger self, about all she discovered over 2025. I'm sharing this because it may provide some insight and help if you are still in the stages of discovery, or learning more about yourself! Her writings led me to further thoughts on life energy, which I'll wrap up below.
Dear Younger Me,
There are so many things I wish I could tell you. Things I had to learn the long way. But as this letter goes, we got there, and actually, we are just getting started.
In any case, I am so grateful I had the pleasure to come into these three realisations this year.
1. Intimacy begins with yourself.
You haven't really allowed yourself to be truly intimate, firstly with yourself, then with another person. For a big part of your life, you'll move through it oblivious to the need for intimacy. Maybe in denial. Maybe just never taught.
You'll think you've tasted it through sex, or physical connection, but what you're really doing is performing closeness - mimicking something you've seen but never felt deeply.
It's not until therapy pushes you to really look at yourself. Plainly, honestly, without filters - that you'll realise what's missing. Even then, being alone with yourself will feel uncomfortable. But one day, you'll notice the craving: not for someone else, but for a version of yourself that feels safe to be alone with.
You'll start exploring your own pleasure, not from porn, not from mimicry, but from curiosity. And while you won't fully understand what you're doing at first, you'll have taken the first real step. It won't be perfect. It won't be clean. But it will be real.
2. Pleasure is not performance. It is something you're allowed to receive.
You'll grow up thinking pleasure is something you earn or unlock. That there's a 'right' way to do it. That if you just follow what you've seen, you'll figure it out.
But the kind of pleasure that heals isn't technical. It's not performative. It arrives when you stop trying to manage everything and finally let yourself be held.
You'll meet someone who taught you this - not just in theory, but in experience. You'll be seen, held, and given permission to stop performing. And for the first time, you'll realise what it feels like to receive, fully, without needing to control anything.
That moment will change you. And you'll carry it with you long after. You'll start to believe that this kind of pleasure is something you deserve. And maybe, one day, you'll show someone else the same kind of safety too.
3. Life isn't just about function or utility. Choose flavour. Choose depth.
You'll spend years living efficiently. Eating functionally. Choosing relationships for warmth, reliability or safety, but rarely for richness. And that will work - until it doesn't.
One day, someone will cook for you, not because they have to, but because they enjoy it and it is just in them to share - the prep, the process, the discovery of flavours, the experience of simply savouring it.
And it will hit you: perhaps, you've been autopiloting through life without tasting it.
Not everything has to be useful. Not everyone needs to serve a purpose. Some people are here to remind you of the kind of life you didn't realise you could have.
Find those people. The ones who carry a different energy. The ones who live in a way that expands you. Being around them will shift you. Not because they teach you anything directly, but because of how they are. Let them change you.
You don't have to be so afraid of softness. Or of needing or wanting things. You're allowed to want more. You're allowed to be met.
With much love,
Older, Wiser, Me
Thank you, dear friend, for sharing those thoughts and insights with me, and indirectly, others. Marks have been made and these memories are treasured and will linger on...
Interestingly, reading through these musings, I realise I never really preached or actively sought to change her (or anyone else's) perspective.
Looking back, I think that's the best way to share our life energy with others - by being authentic, by acknowledging we don't have all the answers (but that we can work through them) and by letting our zest for life infuse into every interaction we have.
2025 has deepened my understanding of the silent, deep needs we all carry. And I've found my own unique life energy (sometimes shared via MSM) that leads me to look towards 2026 with anticipation and optimism. To you, dear reader, I hope to continue sharing insights and experiences for as long as I can!
In closing, may these musings also inspire you, dear reader, to reflect and consider your own life energy - its current level, how you renew it, your own relationship and intimacy with yourself, who you’d like to share it with - take stock and look forward to what 2026 may bring!
Yours Truly,
Mike